Managing Your Emotions

Have you ever exploded emotionally ... over something that really didn't matter?

If you said no, you are either very well adjusted, have control over your emotions, or are telling yourself untruths (the new buzzword for lying.)

So what can you do to help prevent inappropriate reactions to the curveballs that life throws at you?

Perhaps adjusting your perspective can help.  

But how?  How can one easily adjust perspective in such cases?  What can you do?

Generating An Appropriate Reaction

It may not be true for everything, but here is how I do it.

Before I ramp up my emotions for those curveballs...I tell myself something:

If this is the worst thing that happens to me today ... Life is Good.

Got a fender bender?  Life is good.

Got a "C" on an exam? Life is good.

Spill your drink in your lap at lunch? Life is good.

 It's all about generating an honest and optimistic perspective. That helps us keep the perspective of events appropriate.  Most of what life throws at us is temporary, non-life threatening and manageable.  If that's the case, then why go crazy?  After all...

If this is the worst thing that happens to me today ... Life is Good.

Facts are hard.

Opinions are soft.

Facts don't change.

Opinions can change.

People don't have "facts", people have opinions.

Know the difference.

No matter how hard you try, you can't change a fact.

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop people from changing their opinion.

Base your actions on facts not opinions.

In life you play many roles. And on a daily basis, you play them in concert with other people - who just happen to be playing their roles also.

Kind of sounds like a symphony.  A symphony of life.  It's the symphony that you play which influences the outcome of your efforts.

Just like in a real symphony, it's important to coordinate your part with others.  You can't be playing Mahler, while someone else is playing Bach.  In a small band, it's unlikely that Baroque will mix with Rock & Roll.

You have to make choices ... in the band you play, as well as life.  You have some choices, but they are often limited by what the needs are of the band that you are joining.

What band are you going to play with?

What instrument are you going to play?

Who will be the conductor?

Who will be the players?

Who will be the composer?

If you want to make the future optimal for yourself and make it one that takes you toward your goals and objectives... isn't it time for you to ...

Pick the players in your band?

Conduct those players in your band?

And most importantly ... compose what your band will be playing? 

Life is like climbing a skyscraper.

We are constantly trying to go up ... Up  ... UP

All of the time.  Looking to achieve what is next.

But just like trying to get to that next floor, we can't do it in one step.  It's simply impossible.

Yes, we can use a ladder.  We can climb the stairs. We can even use a rope to climb up.

But in all cases...we are going to the next floor step by step.  A little bit at a time.

Take Small Steps

But these small steps, these small increments allow us to climb to a higher level. To a level that is impossible to gain access to in a single step, but is not just doable, but actually is easy when taken in small steps.

Big goals are like tall floors.  They are impossible to reach in a single step.  The higher the goal, the higher the floor.  But NO floor can't be reached if you use the stairs or a ladder.   

What are the steps or ladder rungs that you will construct to allow you to reach your goal or objective?  How must you divide up the journey into small steps that you can maneuver?

Take the time to take it one step at a time.

It's better to take the stairs and get to the next floor than to keep jumping hoping that you will jump high enough one day.

"You gotta do somethin' they never got 'em in the world."

What is your vision?

Simon Rodia had a vision.  Not many people really understood it, but in the mid of his life, he had a vision.  And he became committed to it.

He didn't have formal training.

He didn't have a supply of "normal" resources.

He didn't have a collection of industrial tools.

But he had made a commitment.

Because of that, Simon built his vision.  First a foundation, then a free form group of towers, some nearly 100 feet tall.   The "Watts Towers".

He built them by himself with makeshift tools and used anything he could find as his substrate.

For more than 33 years he worked on the project against all odds.  No funding.  Fighting with the city of LA. for permits.  

But despite all of this ... his work went on. And progress was made.

And the towers were built.

His vision.  His work. His accomplishment.

Yet his work provided enormous inspiration for others. But disdain from the "authorities".

Although the city of LA tried to tear the towers down as a "hazard", they withstood the attempt of the city to pull them over with cranes.  

And they still stand today.  A testimonial to the commitment to the vision of a single man.  Enjoyed by millions. 

What are you building?  What is it that you are ...

Are you bored with your goals?

Or are your goals boring?

Perhaps it's due to your level of inspiration.

If your goals don't inspire you to take action, your motivation will be low...if at all.

Maybe it's time to reassess what you want to achieve.

Maybe it's time to change your goals. Maybe not.

While you may think it's time to decide on a new destination ... 

Maybe it's not the destination, but the route you are taking to achieve your goal that is boring.

If your destination is still true ...

Then perhaps some "side trips" along the way can make the trip more interesting and valuable. 

Pull out your map and see what else you can visit and do along the way. 

Maybe it's time to "recalculate" your path.

And recharge your interest in your destination.

Are you on a quest to find your interests?

What do you want to see? What are you looking for? What is it that interests you?

Is it right in front of you?

Is it on the horizon?

Is it in the past?

Is it in the future?

Depending on what your interest is, use the right tool for the job.

If it's in front of you ... use your reading glasses or a microscope.

If it's on the horizon ... use a telescope or binoculars. 

If it's in the past ... find it in a museum or library.

If it's in the future ... break out your crystal ball or imagination.

Depending on where your interest lies, pick the right tool, otherwise, you won't find what you are looking for. 

Everyone sets goals.

It's all of the different things that you want or wish to accomplish.

But how many of those goals actually get completed?

WHY?

Maybe you are trying to do too much. 

Maybe you are distracted.

Maybe your heart isn't big enough for all of those goals.

A basketball player has only one goal in mind when they are playing the game.  Putting the ball in the hoop.  Period.

Pick your game.  Pick ONE goal. Then focus on that one goal.

Then make it happen.

Social and Digital Media is NOT personal communication

Modes of communication have become too impersonal.  

An emoji isn't a substitute for true emotion.

If your mouth can't keep up with your brain, then how can your fingers on a keyboard?

Put down the keyboard.

Pick up the phone.  Call someone.  Have a REAL conversation. Have a REAL relationship.

Better yet...meet them and talk in person.

Know when to stop the input...and start the thinking...

The process of learning, thinking, doing and enjoying is not just one process.  It is several different processes and skills that are linked together.  Each skill provides a different element of the entire process of conversion of a new learned fact, into a thought, action, which then results in a benefit of outcome.

Our brains are only capable of a finite ability to deal with facts, or "inputs"  at one time.  For some people it might be a large number of facts; for others, it might be a smaller number.  That number may change over our lifetime based.  It certainly will change with practice, improving with greater use.

Is it better to keep providing input that will be lost or forgotten?  Or stop the input and really process (i.e. think) about the inputs and turn them into lessons, concepts and memories?

Once we "hit" our limit of inputs for a period of time, our brain needs time to digest those new ideas.  It needs to process them, organize them and file them into the "storage cabinet" in our brains for future use. After that point, we may be wasting our time by stuffing in more inputs, only to crowd out the earlier ones.  Perhaps at those times, we are better to stop further input process and start the thinking process... 

We all can understand our own...