What have you been doing during this pandemic?

Binge-watching?

That COULD be good...or that COULD be bad...

It's not about if you are watching...but what you are watching...

Are you binge-watching Bay Watch?  NetFlix? Breaking Bad?  Jerry Springer? I Love Lucy?  Or non-stop COVID19 news?

That's BAD.

 Are you Binge-watching ... Online courses?  YouTube videos on self-improvement?  Other resources on expanding your expertise?  Learning new skills?

That's GOOD.

What are you watching?

So it's not a question of WHAT you are doing, but WHAT you are WATCHING.

What are YOU learning?

Will you be BETTER when the pandemic is over?  Or just older?

The choice is entirely up to you...and no one else. 

We all do it.  If you say you don't, you just did.

Lies are for many reasons.  Some good. Some bad. But all are dishonest.

Little Lies

We sometimes lie to avoid making someone feel bad. We sometimes use other language to avoid saying what we really think...

Boy that's some haircut. Wow, that is a unique wall color. Sure, I know you like that station.

I would guess we all think that these types of lies are ok.  They help prevent unnecessary friction and maybe hurting other peoples feelings.

Big Lies

But there are other lies that simply shouldn't happen.

Sorry boss, my dog ate the report.

No, I didn't break that.

No, I really was sick.

No, I didn't back into the other car.

Who me? I would never say that...

There are a number of reasons that people lie.  There is a good summary article on Ideapod about why people lie.    It can give you some good insight into why people lie.  Maybe even why you lie to others. 

Regardless, there are many consequences to lying to others. Especially to those who have trust in you. Those who value your opinion. Those who look to you for honest answers.

The main reason that you shouldn't lie is this:

If you lie to me now, how will I ever know that you are not lying to me in the future?

There you go.  You have lost their trust.  

Is that worth lying about?

Look back over your life.  

It doesn't matter if it's only a decade or two, or longer, spanning many, many decades.

Who was your best teacher?

Who taught you the most?  Who challenged you to learn the most?  Who made you think the most?  Who made you most inquisitive?  Who made the most of your interests?  Who made the most of your failures?  Who's influence continues to stimulate you to learn today?  And who's influence will continue to stimulate you to continue learning into the future, until the day you die?

Who was that teacher?

Was it a school teacher?  Perhaps a parent?  A friend?  A co-worker?  A mentor?  A spouse?  A child?  Are they alive? Or have they passed away?  Who was it?

Your best teacher.

While there are many people in all of our lives that stimulate us to learn and continue to grow, I believe that there is one person in each person's lives that can, or should make a dramatic difference.  I also believe that behind every success story, there is the same person that remains unidentified as the real teacher in those individuals' lives.  Without this person in their lives, nothing would have been possible.

It's YOU.

While we all seem to think outside of ourselves when we look for the influence that made us what we are, there is one fact that is central to our success.  We have chosen to learn.  To learn from others.  To learn from our experiences.  To lea...

In a previous post, we talked about being a graduate of the school of hard knocks.

Certainly, we have all had a crash course in hard knocks over the past months.  COVID 19 is the teacher from hell. 

The lessons are harsh. The lessons are absolute. The lessons are illuminating.

What Did We Learn From COVID 19 so far?

Aside from the medical aspects of the disease, we all learned a lot about ourselves and our country. And the world around us.  We learned how we worked together (or not). We learned how we helped in society for the greater good (or not). We learned how to wash our hands, minimize contact and live a more hygienic life (or not). We learned a lot of "things".

We also learned how precarious life is. We learned how interconnected we are.

From a carefree New Years' Eve to a pandemic that impacts every country in the world ... in less than 12 weeks.  

We see how fragile so much of our life is and how little control we have on what happens to us.  But we also see how we react to that stimulus and the choices we make. Choices that we have to make now because of the choices that we have made in the past.  And we have the ability to make choices now, and into the future, that will eventually shape the choices and options that are available to us in the future. 

The Shaping Of Our Choices By Hard Knocks.

In many cases, we have limited choices right now.  We are in a si...

The Power Of Body Over Mind.

A smile is a simple thing to do.  But it has enormous power.

Go ahead.  Force yourself to make a smile.  

Not a small closed-lip smile, but a big, toothy, nearly laughing smile.  And hold it for a while.

Now how did that make you feel?  It's unlikely that you felt bad. It's unlikely that you felt sad.  I am willing to bet that you actually felt better after that smile.  That physical action has the power to lift your spirits.

Wow... your physical body can have influence over the thoughts and emotions you have.  Yes, how you position your body and the faces you make do impact how you feel mentally.

That's the power you have over your emotions. 

The power of body over mind.

Use the power of a big, bright smile to overcome those times when the world seems blue to you.  When you need to feel better and more positive.  When you need a friend  ...  but nobody else is there.  Forcing a smile is a great place to start.

Be your own friend.  Make yourself happy.  Just smile.

School of Hard Knocks.

We all go to this school. It's a self-study course that we all attend.  No admittance exam required.  Everyone is enrolled.  But graduating from the School of Hard Knocks is different.  We graduate class by class. Lesson by lesson.  And our studies are never completed.  There is always another lesson to be learned. Another class to attend.  Enrollment is mandatory, not optional.

But not all of us learn our lessons. Not everyone learns from the classes they are forced to take.  Graduating from these classes takes effort.  

There are several characteristics of people who are successful in this program.  Those who thrive in the School of Hard Knocks have confidence in their ability. They are willing to identify the mistakes they have made.  They are willing to analyze those mistakes for lessons.  They are willing to implement lessons they have learned to reduce those mistakes from occurring again. 

Graduate Hard Knock Studies

Moreover, some "graduate students" from the School of Hard Knocks go even further.  They share their mistakes with others.  They share the lessons they have learned. They help other people avoid the mistakes they have made. 

So how do you perform in the School of Hard Knocks?

Are you a life-long learner?

Are you a graduate student who shares their knowledge?

Or are you someone who fails to learn, and is destined to constantly r...

Do You Have The Time To Get Things Done?

I just don't have the time.

I am always being interrupted.

I always have something else to do.

I ...<insert YOUR excuse here>

The fact is this.  If you want to get something done, you will make the time to do it.  Simple enough.  Lack of time to do something is your priority.  Don't blame it on lack of time.  Perhaps it's time, to schedule time, a priority.

Block Time

If you want to get something done, schedule it.  Create a block of time that you will dedicate yourself to working on that one task. 

• Set a specific goal of what you want to be done in that amount of time. 
• Hold yourself accountable for getting that specific goal done.
• Force yourself to eliminate all other distractions. (No social media. No email, etc.)
• Remove yourself from the incursions of others (phone, walk-ins, etc.)
• Schedule a break (about 10 minutes each hour for water, bathroom, a quick walk, etc.)
• If necessary, schedule multiple times and dates to continue your work.

Creating blocks of time is one of the most effective means of getting things done. You create an expectation of yourself.  You provide optimal time and place.  You eliminate distractions.

Give it a try and I will guess that you will be amazed at what you can get done in a defined block of time.

My guess is that after a while (of practice), you will find you can get a whole lot of st...

You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Yup...we have all heard that saying, but in reality, we all do.  At least initially.

Go into a book store.   How do you pick a book from the shelf to see if you want to read it?  The cover.

Go online and browse a category of books to purchase.  How do you pick what you want to buy?  The cover.

The fact is this....we do pick a book by its cover. 

Now having said that, we may find that we are completely wrong about a book that we have selected.  The book we select to read may be terrible, once we start reading it.  A book that we ignore because of the cover may be the one that could change our life, but never will because we didn't select it by its cover.

What Does Your "You Cover" Look Like?

People have covers too.  What we wear.  How we speak. The way we act.  The people we surround ourselves with.  These are all elements of the cover that we have.  And each of those elements provides a glimpse into who we are, what we are and how we are.  Those "You Cover" elements provide insight into the text of our "book", and what we have to offer to others.

But if our "You Cover" doesn't convey the right message to others, our "book" will never be read. It will limit our relationships with others.  It may inhibit our introductions.  It will reduce the sphere of influence we may have with others.  Regardless of how powerful, helpful or compellin...

Do you identify with Eeyore?

How did you feel when you saw this clip?  Did you identify with Eeyore?  Or were you sad because of his disposition? 

How you relate to this clip may reflect on your mortality and morbidity to a myocardial infarct.  

A recent medical article of over a quarter-million people identified that a positive outlook on life has a statistically significant reduction in ischemic myocardial events of all types, as well as reduced mortality overall. 

The Power Of A Positive Attitude

Yes, you read that correctly.  A positive attitude had a positive impact on the mortality of individuals.  

The article (link here) provides a nice discussion of the study parameters and confounding or co-existing risk factors, including other associated behavioral habits with positive and negative outlooks (i.e. optimism vs. pessimism).

What You Think Does Matter 

In conclusion, what you think can make you sick.  A negative disposition does have a negative impact on your health and outcomes.  For that reason, it's ideal to work on a more positive attitude in life.  For those with positive attitudes, kudos!  Keep up the great work and get even more positive.  

But if you are an "Eeyore" in life, it's time to adopt a more positive mindset.  It's time to become a "Jagular" and follow their tracks...the very best friend that anyone could hope for...

Note:  All images, ...

In a previous post, Triggers, I discussed a method of helping you remember to do various actions.  That is really only one step one of the process of creating a habit.

Another step that is very important is rewarding the process that you want to create into a habit.  

If we do something, even an action that we want to turn into a habit, and we don't reward ourselves, the positive feedback that wires our brain isn't as effective.  To make a stronger habit circuit in your brain, it's important to add a habit reward to the process.

Habit Reward

So what is a habit reward?  

It's very simple.  When you do something that you want to turn into a habit, something that you want to do automatically, you have to rewire your brain circuitry.  This is done in the brain with neurochemical transmitters (enough biology for this post...) creating a positive feedback loop.  The best way of doing this is to reward yourself after doing something you want to make a habit.   

A habit reward can be anything that makes you feel good about what you just did.  It can be something physical (i.e. giving yourself a cookie) or it can be psychological (i.e. giving yourself a "mental" atta-boy!)

The important part about this is to (a) actually GIVE yourself a reward that means something to you and (b) give it consistently after the behavior and (c) give is immediately after the action you want to rewar...