What Does It Take To Say Yes?
Life is one big negotiation. Negotiation interactions are about getting something. It may be permission. It may be a raise. It may be a purchase. It may be ... anything.
During that interaction for permission, there are two sides to the negotiation.
The "Asker"
First is the person asking. They have a requests, demand or need that they are looking to have fulfilled. It's what they want. Behind each of those requests, there is a reason for it.
The "Giver"
The second party to this conversation is the person being asked for fulfillment of that item. They have the ability to say yes or no to the person asking. That doesn't mean that they always have the final or ultimate arbiter of the decision, but they have a significant amount of influence and/or authority over it. For them, there is a reason behind their ultimate decision. That reason why they will grant, or refuse such a request. It's a simple rule: They have to be better off after they give you what you are requesting...than before. If they have no benefit, there is no motivation for them to say yes.
It's Not About You
When you are asking for something in the negotiation, the discussion shouldn't be about you. It's about the "giver". If it's their permission that will get you what you want, you have to provide them with an "after" status that is better than their "before" status.
It's an important distinction. When asking for something, your own reasons are not important to the giver. What is important to them is that their situation becomes better. So the onus is on you to show them HOW what you want will make their life better. How it will improve business. How it will make their life easier. How it will help their security. How it will benefit them.
No matter how good your personal reason is for wanting something in a negotiation, it is essential that you provide the "giver" with a reason to say yes.
It's not about what you want ... it's about how you will help the "giver" say yes.
You can get anything you want, provided that it helps those who can provide the permission.
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