I agree...

I agree.

Two simple words.

Two words that can start building the bridge between opposing parties. Between opposite viewpoints.  Between adversaries.

If I remember correctly, those words were used a lot  ... many years ago.  But it seems that lately the words "I agree" have come to signal a position of weakness. Of giving in.  Of acquiesence. 

But it wasn't always that way.  I don't know what happened, but it seems that every position lately has been "for" or "against" something or someone.  Forget the middle ground.  Forget compromise.  Forget about what is right.  Just dig in your heels and never admit that you agree.

But let's face it.  Most of the time, regardless of how much we dislike a position, a person, an ideology, there are often some aspects of the opposing viewpoint that we can agree with.  That doesn't mean we are giving in.  It doesn't mean that we are "on their side". It doesn't mean that our position on other elements isn't as strong.

But what it does mean is this:

We agree on SOME things...so let's spend our efforts on working out those elements that we don't agree on...

Think about it.  If we only have so much time, energy and stamina, then why spend it on arguing over things we already agree on.  It's not just stupid ... it's insanity.  

Common Ground

How often have you fought against a position that you agreed with, just because it was first stated by someone you oppose?  Does that really make sense?

And although you may think that I am talking about politics, this problem is everywhere.

What about the disgruntled employee? Or the unhappy customer?  Or the upset supplier?  How do you approach those situations?  From the defensive that they are completely wrong? Or do you hear them out and consider each element of their argument or complaint individually?  And determine what you agree with and that which you don't agree with?

 It's time to agree with the things we agree with.

Maybe that's the start of a successful negotiation.  Maybe it's the answer to reducing polarization.  Maybe none of us are completely right, nor completely wrong. Maybe "grey" is the solution to black or white.

Maybe "I agree..." is the start of a real solution to our conflicts.

Do you agree?